Tokyo, Japan -- So I woke up in a not so great mood... I think maybe just having a lot on my mind lately. You know it's one of those times when you wake up and before you can really blink a few times, your mind is already flooded.
It's not to say it was a bad day, it was a decent day actually. Maybe it was the shock from last night. I got shocked in the shower turning the water faucet off. Like seriously-- there was a current running through and it shook the junk out of me. So, maybe that was it.It got off to a rough start... burned my hand on the toaster oven, I think a spider or something bit me at night, and just random little things... but we did have a nice breakfast with all the people who are working here and then I went to hang out with Fumiko to get to know her better.
It was a nice, sunny day and she took me to Asakusa and to Shibuya and Harajuku. Asakusa has a famous temple in Tokyo and we got stopped by every group of the elementary class that was trying to learn English. They gave little origami gifts and now I have enough to fill a suitcase. Anyway-- if you've seen any videos of Tokyo of an intersection that fills with people when the pedestrian light turns green- well, that's in Shibuya. It's a very expensive, very, very modern area. Harajuku has a lot of people dressed up, apparently called cosplay, but there weren't a lot of them around. We were pretty tired after all that walking (and standing a lot on the trains/subways). Oh, and we ate fried eel, shrimp and some other fish and eggplant today with her. It was cool to talk about differences between Japan and America and culture (she's done homestays in the States).So I leave Saturday and I'm pretty bummed about that. I've really enjoyed it here and am now kinda getting into the flow of things. It was a bit of culture shock at first-- though you would think being missionary that you would get over that. But I find I love Japan and her people more and more everyday. Which, obviously, makes leaving seem not fun. I'm still waiting on the Lord to see what He says... I just want to do what He wants.So, we had talked last Sunday about getting an English/Japanese Bible, one that has the hiragana readings above the kanji... which if you don't know what that means, don't worry... just know that it's nicer and easier on the brain. They're pretty expensive so I was kinda waiting on it (about $65 and a bit bulky)... and anyway, tonight I came home from hanging out with Fumiko and there was a gift that had apparently been waiting for me since last night.
Abbie had picked up for me a New Testament like the one I was describing above, with a nice little note. I was sooo blessed-- because it's not as expensive as the one above-- but it still is an expensive gift! I almost wanted to cry, because, well, I felt a bit chillona today (even though I didn't)... but I called her and thanked her so much. What a blessing! And, how cool??
So I've been meditating a bit on Psalm 86:11 that says Teach me Your way, Oh Lord, and I will walk in your truth; Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name.Obviously we're always learning from God what are His ways, and that's something that I've been anxious to learn lately. And to learn, you have to have humility and be submitted to the teacher.
But I've been focusing on the divided heart thing. When we have a heart completely subjected to Him, completely committed to Him- we can fear His name. And the fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom... sooo... just think on all that in reverse. So, if our heart is divided, we're not fearing Him properly (I'm hesitant to be strong in my statements), and we can't have wisdom that comes from Him if we have other things we have set before Him.
So, anyway. The verse that came into my mind this morning was Proverbs 3:5-6... which is oft-quoted, but I decided to look it up anyway just to look over it. Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding (the teaching part of the Lord-- be submitted, obedient, trusting)... In ALL your ways acknowledge Him and He will make your paths straight. In all your ways-- like the undivided heart thing. Acknowledge Him- when that word is used, I think of the brief paragraph they put at the beginning of a book that acknowledges people who have helped, etc. Not much to be said. But I think here it means a lot more than just acknowledgment. Put Him first in everything you do and your paths will be straight.
Which is what I want and need. I don't really care what happens or where I go or whatever (well, I do, obviously, and I know what I want)... But I guess what I want to say more than anything is that I want to do what He wants. In the end, it's the best plan for me anyhow. So, sometimes it's hard to submit the will and be guided, but that's what I do want.I don't mean to be preachy-- I don't like to be. But it's what I've been thinking about throughout the day and waiting, straining even, to hear an answer. He's not speaking in the way that He usually speaks to me, which I'm sure I need to learn something new... I hear so many "come back to Japan" and that's what I really, really want-- but I have to wait for Him to shoot the starting race gun. And until I hear the crack of the pistol, I can't run.
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